Creating a different experience in life other than the one you're having requires change. Change involves challenging what is familiar, and daring to question traditional needs for safety, comfort and control.
If you interpret change as painful, and have trained yourself to avoid pain at all cost, it is likely you will never allow yourself to choose the different experience you desire due to your habitual avoidance of pain.
Rather than take responsibility by acknowledging your innate capacity to create change, you will likely instead create elaborate and justifiably valid reasons for blaming someone or something else for what you can't have.
Letting pain hold you hostage, through a total refusal to feel it, most often results in feeling powerless. Feeling powerless leads to feeling incapable of having what you desire, which serves to compound and validate your collected accumulation of pain. The closed loop circuitry is then complete, and a seemingly endless repetition of unchanging ground hog days plays out in your life, which you then use to reinforce your negation of the possibility that things could ever change.
What's the antidote? Choice. Your choice to stop living at the effect of pain by avoiding it at all cost. Your choice to stop imagining pain to be a giant too great to face. Your choice to surrender the immense control you use to hold pain at bay, and discover the powerful alchemy of receiving what you feel.
You just might find that pain is actually not nearly as frightening as you believe it to be. Yet, only you can know if taking the risk to change is worth it.