The thing is when you question why, you are generally just seeking to validate or invalidate a judgment you have already made and there is really no relief to be had in that. Any reason and justification for why that you find acceptable simply serves to pacify the mind in its constant need to secure control. The only reason there really ever is for anything you choose is simply because you can. Searching for why is one of the main ways to keep you hooked into the causal incarnations, incarcerations and incongruities of a limited causal reality. So if why is not the key to change, then what?
For years I have said that allowance is the lubricant of change. It can ease you out of the stuck spots that nothing else seems to release. The thing about allowance is that it's an energy of BEing that functions beyond the understanding of the mind, which needs for things to make sense in a logical way to maintain a sense of "safety."
Allowance can't operate from mind. Mind operates from judgment. Being in allowance of the choices of others, and your own, is not something to be understood. It's a choice to be made in honor of them, and you. Allowance is a gift we give to ourselves in the space of non-judgment, and there we may discover the ease and peace that a judgment permeated reality will likely never know.
So, I wonder. What gift of allowance can you be today? What kindness can you be for YOU?