Many people place their well-being and sense of okayness or enoughness in the hands of other people rather than owning it themselves.
When our okayness has been outsourced, we become very susceptible to manipulation by those to whom we have placed our well-being in their possession. We are highly susceptible to the loss and perceptually true lack of our enoughness when they withhold their approval, and we will often self injure and self abandon to earn their approval again.
When someone disapproves of you, or your choices and how you live your life, they are attempting to shame you with their disapproval. It only works if you hold that person in high regard as someone who knows better than you, someone that you trust more than you, someone you think has more power than you or whom you believe holds the key to your okayness and enoughness in their possession.
It's no different when someone proclaims their disappointment in you. Their proclamations are an attempt to get you do to what they want you to do, choose what they want you to choose, be who they want you to be, behave how they want you to behave. They may be very deliberately employing this tactic to achieve a purpose, or it may be an entirely unconscious strategy they learned from a parent who used it on them conditioning them to obey.
Perhaps the most powerful tool to enlist subservience, submission, obedience and compliance to a self-interested person, agenda or authority is withholding approval, which is often combined with the threat of being ostracized, cast out, excluded and abandoned to be left alone unsupported and uncared for. It works incredibly well.
Have you explored your relationship with authority? Have you inquired as to how much of your well-being, okayness and enoughness you have allowed others to possess? How much of your worth do you allows others to determine for you?
Current events seem to be highlighting everywhere we have collectively habituated the outsourcing of our well-being, okayness, enoughness, authority and worth to others in an alarming way. I see this as an invitation to evolve beyond this paradigm, and claim our own self-possession.
How we relationally participate with each other and Life in every moment of every day determines the world we each collectively create together.
I am participating with Life by honoring each being as fully capable of trusting themselves to know how they would like to expressively create and participate with Life for themselves. My approval, self-interested interference or protection is not necessary nor justified by any reason. No one need prove or earn anything from me to be deemed capable, enough, included, appreciated, valued and loved.
No one need approve of how I steward my life. The conviction with which I participate in the emergence of a new paradigm, one that feels value for and experiences union among all beings, is enough for me. It is the world I know is possible, and I will gift all that I am to birth it.
What do you know is possible? What world would you like to live into and experience in every new tomorrow? It we don't take care to create it, who will?